I had a bad day today. It wasn't anything serious but I started to do some light exercise and after about 10 minutes my body felt tired and weak. Not in any serious way, more of a no muscles, lazy, this is hard work and I could go and watch Southland way. But it got me down a bit.
The weather was so bad yesterday that we didn't get a chance to train, so this morning after walking Rehana to school, the sky was still clear and though Franklin was at work I decided to do some training myself. In the past I would easily complete light training or a 5k run without much thought at all, so it seemed like a no brainer.
I set myself up and had Amina chilling out near by playing, but after a good stretch and about 3 minutes of skipping she started to cry, so I had to take 5 and put her to bed. As I went out to keep going Franklin came back with a friend of ours and had a quick chat. All up this was enough to completely break my momentum. I tried to go back to skipping but my body felt cold and stiff. So I felt a bit lost and decided to do some sit ups. 100 crunches later (Hold the astonishment they most definitely hurt and were done in groups of 10!) I felt like I hadn't really done much at all but my muscles had decided that was enough and even a 200m light jog was received with protest from my legs.
Ergh! I was so frustrated. I used to train for 2 hours at times and although it was still hard I could will myself on, my body would comply and I'd do it, now I cant push myself at all (the muscles and fitness are just not there) and its a hard thing to face up to. But it also threw me into some quite negative thought patterns that I did not expect (but that we all are prone to I guess) and which can be really discouraging. Thoughts like "I cant do this.' 'Im so weak and beyond it now.' 'What's the point' 'Urg Im so fat and ugly, I should just go and eat a DONUT already!' lol
Franklin straight away knew how to handle the situation and he quickly reminded me that its been close to 2 years now since I trained properly and that I am going to have to take it slowly. But I had expected this sermon and had already been thinking and ignoring it from myself and it was the next part which was so important. He reminded me that at this stage I should (for the most part) be training with him and preferably with 1-2 other people.
Going it alone is hard work and that extra support to get through those initial slow weeks is really important. I gained some perspective from this and felt a lot better, determined to trust him and stay committed to our training sessions and to try some power walking on the off days to help with the weight loss and get my muscles working again. I had put too much pressure on myself to complete things too quickly and it backfired. The older we get the more limitations that are placed on us by our bodies and we have to learn to respect that. Weight wont come off or go on straight away, muscles take work to develop and that stiffness in the bones and ligaments is something you have to work through. Though I have to admit I wont get there straight away, as long as I listen to my trainer and work the program I know I can get my body back on track. There is satisfaction to be gained when you do reach your exercise goals and that satisfaction comes for a reason, because getting there takes serious work.
So if you're feeling disgruntled with your training program, you didn't manage to run as far, or lift as much or you're struggling to get going, make sure you contact some people and get them to train with you, hopefully it will keep you as motivated as Franklin's determined to keep me!
Jess
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